Time
by CLAMP-yuuko
Summary: Those who lie will know another liar, or so Fay thinks. Spoilers for chapitre 120 and up. KuroxFay oneshot. Angst.


**Disclaimer: I do not own**

**Spoilers: Chapitre 120 and up**

**Pairing: KuroxFay**

Time

Fay felt his eyelids falling down. He was so tired he couldn't help the sleep for taking over. This time he had promised himself to stay awake, but as usual, he was too weak to keep any promise he had ever made which made him in turn, feel like such a failure to the world and to those important to him that he was puzzled by the fact that they of all things cared for him. That was cruel. But time itself was crueler. The always ticking minutes of the clock inched closer to the ending and Fay felt scared. Like time was a hand holding him around the throat, tightening by each second of his pitiful life. Slowly, torturing him in the knowledge that the day he would die with most certainty he would cry. Not because of leaving the life he had grown to hate, but because over these past months of traveling he had become attached to someone. And that someone would certainly be sad if he was gone.

Nevertheless he had become used to the fact that he was all those horrid things the ninja hated. He didn't care for his life, he was a fool, a liar, a murderer, and all the things Kurogane in any other situation would have ended the life of long ago. That he now cared for him was his own fault and he had to take the guilt that followed.

Now that he was in Nihon, with Sakura, Syaoran, Mokona and Kurogane made things worse. His plan had not gone the way he wanted it to. What happened in Celes hadn't broken him, and he wondered why. 'It must be him' Fay thought and felt his mind drifting. 'He is always there, and he always makes me feel stronger than I am. Stronger and weaker in the same time because when I am weak he makes me strong and when I feel strong he makes me weak'.

And his ending was not what he had imagined either…

He had wanted it to end where it started. Covered in snow from a fierce snowstorm he would disappear into the white, a smile covering his lips and Kurogane would see him, smile back, and he would be gone and no one would ever blame him again for something he had done, feelings he had hurt, hearts he had broken, promises he hadn't kept… He would be free, unattached to anyone, because leaving meant leaving the one he had ever truly cared for, and he was sure he would never care for someone as much ever again.

Kurogane looked at the mage lying in bed, his muffled blond hair more messed up than usual. He knew Fay was thinking of death, his face showed it too clearly. He had known to learn the faces of those who was thinking of leaving and he had been the man to make that true for many in return. He had ruined his plan in Celes. They had rescued the princess and Fay had faced what he feared and Kurogane had hoped he would be free, but he wasn't. Fay was still trapped and the ninja was unsure how to free him. There was no locked door he had to find the key to, there was no hidden code that he had to break, and there was no wall he had to tear down. The only thing left was Fay, and just that, was the thing Kurogane could not figure out.

And he had stopped him from disappearing…

Perhaps it had been selfish, not granting him his wish. But knowing the man he was now looking at with the most caring eyes, he knew that was not his true wish. It was not his true wish to die and he intended to make him realize that, but now he started to wonder, if _he _was the one meant to grant the wish Fay didn't have the courage to believe in.

Fay noticed him looking. He felt it on his skin. It made his heart beat faster; his hands tremble ever so slightly. The air between them grew tense and Kurogane knew he had been caught. Swirled around in a web, bound by things that had been said and done, he waited for the mage to speak up, and so he did.

"Kurogane shouldn't spy on people like that," Fay said his voice was hallow but still tainted with the slightest emotion. It was faint almost non existent but still present. The feeling the mage had for the ninja couldn't not be erased completely, suppressed, but not completely gone.

"I'm not spying…," Kurogane looked more intently on Fay, wanting him to open his eye, there was no way of reading this strange man, and it certainly didn't became more easy with his eye closed.

"You are looking at me aren't you?"

"…"

"That's spying…,"

"You know I am looking at you, therefore I'm not spying," Kurogane's voice was too soft and he didn't like it. He cursed himself for talking like this and turned to leave but was stopped by a voice unmistakably changed by his previous words, and he didn't curse himself no more.

"Kuro-rin is always so sweet." Kurogane stopped. His heart froze and his eyes widened. For horror or shock he didn't know, maybe a bit of both. But one thing he was sure, he was confused. Was Fay being honest with him? Or was he the same Fay that had told all those lies, laughed and smiled like he didn't have a care in the world. He didn't know, and for the moment he had lost all control, if he ever had any in the first place, and he didn't turn but listened. "Kuro-rin is always so kind to me and I don't know why…," Fay's voice kept that fragile tone and Kurogane did turn around. Fay's eye was open but not looking. Covered in some kind of veil it was empty, hidden behind a mirror and Kurogane could only see himself reflected in the wall of glass. He saw a coward.

A bird was chirping in response to the early spring and all the wonders of the world that came with it. The soft breeze swept by Fay's skin and he was tempted to smile because he was currently lost in a world of his own. But the smile never came because his world vanished in an instant, and no bird's chirping or gracious breeze could ever bring it back or make it real, and Fay felt as lost as one can feel on a day that promised so many good things to those who listens.

"Oi mage!" Kurogane stamped over the open field and stopped beside Fay who sat on the moist grass his eye looking up into the sky and the white cotton dots drifting effortlessly around and away.

"You will stay here with me."

Kurogane's words made him tremble. His hands pulled the strands of grass, and he tried not to show emotions but he did, and he smiled. A weak but true smile, his lips twitched a little, out of training for such a smile that for once was true, both to himself and to the man in front of him.

"Kuro-rin shouldn't say such lies," and so the smile disappeared and the ninja frowned.

"Don't call me a liar."

"A liar knows another liar," Fay's smirk faded, reduced itself to a faint smile, somewhat real but still with the remains of untruthfulness, and his eye once again looked at the white drifting around the sea of blue.

"But you aren't a liar," Fay was unsure if he was supposed to be confused, shocked or merely laugh. Of course he was a liar. Lies and more lies and nothing more. Fay looked down in confusion as to how react to the ninja, but his face didn't hide for too long because the ninja sat down beside him and swept his head up with his hand, And suddenly Fay was trapped in the eyes of the other man.

"I've know you from the first time I saw you. I've known the true you. Seen through your lies, and therefore, you are not a liar, at least not for me," and with that Kurogane did not see a coward reflected anymore and he leaned in and kissed the person he longed for, and in that same instant, time froze, and a man that thought he would forever lie and never love was freed. And that day, bathed in the sun of an early spring two persons stopped being cowards and for once was true to themselves, and nothing but the joy of being together was of greater importance.

**A/N: Haven't written much in a while now, so it feels good to have something new to offer. Thank you so much for reading my fic and I would really appreciate it if you leave a review on your way out **


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